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Problems

 

There are so many problems we face in life.

There are so many problems we face in life. If we should list the things in our lives that brings us sadness, depression, confusion, discomfort, pain we would run out of paper and probably ink, because the truth is once we are breathing on this earth we will have struggles.

I’ve learned that the most effective way to get through the problems in our lives is to have the right spirit/attitude,  ask the right questions, learn from the experience, seek and accept wise counsel and be ready to act.  Questions allows us to be problem solvers, forward thinkers.  Questions allow us to assess barriers and solutions.

Bishop T D Jakes stated in a message that often times the promise can be disguised as a problem.

A dear friend of mine, Ms. Felicia Jolly says “Perspective is Power”.

 

 

Marriage!

I hate it when marriages fail!

I hate it even more if the marriage does not work out because either one or both parties are filled with expectations of what the other person should be for them instead of allowing them to be themselves and either deciding to take it or leave it.

Marriage is sacred to me because in my opinion it is the ultimate relationship that shows us the areas we need to grow up in and become selfless.  I’ve never been married and I feel that marriage is the true litmus test and indicator of how much patience, resilience, self-control and creativity  both parties possess.

The ring in marriage is a tangible symbol of connection, unity, agreement.   It’ gives the world an overt visual of your commitment to each other.

I watched a movie the other day “Steel Magnolias” (the black version).   I heard a quote from the lead actress Condola Rashad (Shelby)  that states ” I would rather have 30 minutes of something wonderful  than a lifetime of nothing special.

I think we put too much pressure on each other when it comes to marriages and its really simple ; do we cherish each other? respect each other, allow each other to grow, change, evolve?  Do we expect nothing and give everything?.  Do we listen without judgement? Can we imagine our lives with anyone else?  Can anyone else treat you better than your spouse? Does marrying this person feel right in our hearts and our heads?

I honestly feel that most marriages don’t make it is because one or both parties take each other for granted and stops nurturing each other.  My next opinion of why some marriages don’t work out is also because one or both parties tolerate behavior rather than confronting the behavior and habits.  I’ve seen a lot of couples either fight or cave in their relationships instead of discuss and confront.  One of my favorite quotes states that if I don’t choose, then chaos will choose for us.  I’ve learned that in life wise counsel can be extremely effective in turning marriages, relationships, health, finances and thought processes around.

Marriage is a gift, it’s for us to utilize, nourish and cherish it.  Marriage doesn’t make the magic happen, it’s the people in the marriage that makes the marriage happen.  For me as a born again Christian it will be Jesus in the Center that makes the magic happens.

 

 

 

 

 

Here and Now!

 

I’ve always said that I can do without the Euphoric section of Love.  As I think of it, it’s because somehow my prevailing idea of love is that it ends and gets bad.  As a means of protection and prevention, I felt that if I was able to either bypass Euphoria all together or get to the other side of Euphoria (the real side, the painful side) I would be OK because I would be expecting it and ready to deal with it.  Love and Fear are not synonymous, they are antonymous.   If that is true why do we hurt the ones we love the most?  Why is it that when we are in-love we sabotage it or speak and or think negatively over our relationship?  Why is it when we experience a wonderful event we think that something bad is going to happen to take this moment away from us?  In life all we have are moments.   For the first 24-26 years of my life I lived in the future.   My days were filled with phrases that starts with  “I can’t wait to….”,  “When I get to be_ I will….”  I  felt that nothing in my present life was worth savoring.  I lived my life for the future and what could be instead of what is.It took me a while to learn how to be present and live in the moment.  There were several things that helped me to start being content and being fully present in my life in the present moment. I read the scripture in the bible that taught me about the power in being content,  power in trusting Jesus and that the scripture that perfect love cast out fear.   I was also inspired while watching the Movie ” The Last Holiday” when Georgia transformed her album from the Book of Possibilities to the Book of Realities.

Pay Me For My Thoughts

You ever had an idea and said to yourself, nah someone else thought about that or did that and you drop the idea.

Nothing is an original in 2013 or 2014 !

We build on other people’s ideas, thoughts and concepts- and that’s okay !

The marketing industry is extremely rich because of our thoughts, ideas and concepts.

Someone may have thought about the same thing you thought about or wrote something similar to what you wrote but it DOESN’T MATTER; share your contribution with the world.   Do not allow yourself to be silenced in the noise of others.  Give yourself a chance to SHINE.

Remember SHINING doesn’t mean that you become rich or you get over 1 million hits on you tube, or you get over 1 million tweeters and likes on Facebook.  SHINING means that you were vulnerable enough to expose your thoughts, ideas and concept with the world and Dared Greatly – thanks Dr. Brene Brown.

Remember  the way you translate information may be a different way that someone else does it

Remember your strategy to execute comes from your personality, your life experiences, no one can tell your story better than you…

Brings me to my original thought that nothing is an original in 2013 or 2014, I take that back … YOU ARE, YOU ARE AN ORIGINAL

Step by Step, The Puzzle, Figuring it out

A is for answering the question what do we want out of life

B is for believing that we deserve the best

C is for counting our blessings and staying in a grateful spirit

D is for determining what we are willing to give up and hold on to for our destiny

E is for every time we tell ourselves WE CAN’T do something we tell ourselves WE CAN

F is for feeling out the areas in our lives that makes us unhappy and changing it

G is for giving of our time, energy and money to those who can benefit

H is for happiness external and internal

I is for infusing our youths with positive, practical and useful strategies to be great leaders in a world of conformists.

J is for justice

K is for kindly giving back to ourselves and kindly practicing self care

L is for Love, understanding  that Love covers all and Love breaks through the stoniest and darkest of hearts

M is for money, valuing it, allocating it, saving it and using it effectively

N is for NEVER ever telling ourselves the following – that someone is better than you, that we don’t deserve to be happy, that life is better off without me

O is for the opportunities that we promise ourselves to make use of and not take for granted

P is for Planning purposefully and Pursuing our dreams passionately

Q is for Quietly sitting with our thoughts and being okay with that; free from every electronic device known to man

R is for remembering our pasts, releasing the hurt , reconsidering our actions, reengaging in our goals and really going after what we want in our lives

S is for Surrendering to the plan that GOD has for our life

T is for Truth, telling yourself and others around you the truth and trusting that no matter what the outcome you will survive and all will be well again.

U is for understanding that life is a smorgasbord of emotions  but through it all you have a center, find  that center, stay true to that center, nourish that center

V is for vibrantly and enthusiastically being genuinely happy  for other people’s successes

X is for being Xenodochial- be friendly to strangers…. Look it up it really does exist.

http://adjectives.facts.co/adjectivesstartingwith/x-adjectivesthatstartwithx.php

Y is for Yielding to the will of GOD

Z if for zealously pursuing truth and love in a world where love is just a cynical cliché and truth is just a matter of perception.

ALL HEART- It’s not a fairy tale

When I was little a lot of the stories I heard started with once upon a time and ended with happily ever after.  Fairy tales gave me hope and made me feel safe.  Fairy tales taught me that good always come out on top and evil always loses in the end.  As I got older, my thought process shifted.  I remember being told by a former boss that I will lose my innocence just keep on living; and my response was “no this is who I am”. I did not the grasp the concept that who I was in my 20’s would shift significantly to who I would be in my 30’s.  Little did I know that statement would ring true in my life at a rapid pace.

Things moved from being black and white to having gray areas.  Evil did not always loose in the end and good seemed to always get screwed over.   People no longer belonged to a good or bad category but everything had a context, a history, a background that shaped their choices and who they turned out to be.  I began to see that making the right choices does not equate to getting what you want and coming out on top.  I felt the need to protect myself, think ahead, be proactive, and STOP thinking of life as a fairy tale.

Let’s talk about happily ever after. Happily ever after to me looks like having a man who has a heart for GOD and the things of GOD.  Happily ever after looks like a nuclear family; my husband, myself and our 4 children loving each other completely in a home that’s spacious and comfortable enough for everyone.  Happily ever after looks like Jesus conversations around the breakfast and dinner table with my family.  Happily ever after looks like my husband conveying to me I do you, you do me and we don’t do anybody else (Lakita Garth- Naked Truth). Happily ever after looks like my husband liking me and being passionately in love with me. Happily ever after looks like having a man who knows my flaws, past and present and loves and respects me in it and through it.  Happily ever after looks like going to church with my husband and our children and teaching our children about what it is to have a real connection with GOD not what it means to be religious and traditional and lack true intimacy with the creator. Happily ever after looks like me being totally content and satisfied in my marriage because this is who GOD designed for me and knowing that GOD will teach me and instruct me in how to honor him, our relationship and our family day by day/second by second/minute by minute. Happily ever after looks like romantic, spontaneous dates, lingering kisses and making love with my husband as many times as we wanted to.  Happily ever after looks like effective communication and great conversations with my husband.  Happily ever after looks and feels like security, respect, peace, and love (not excluding obstacles, arguments, tragedies, disagreements, personality challenges, etc).   Then I was told that what I felt was my happily ever after was a fairy tale.  For years, I believed that and accepted that it cannot and will not happen for me; but to any and everyone who wants the perfect will of GOD for your life I’m here to tell you It’s not a fairy tale.

GOD promises he’ll give us the desires of our heart, he promises us that he has good plans for us; plans to prosper us in every area of our lives and not to harm us.  Our job is to seek him first and stay connected to him. Our job is to trust in the lord with all our heart, mind, and strength and lean not to our own understanding but in all our ways acknowledge him and he will direct our path.

The perfect will of GOD for your life is NOT a fairy tale, it is the Truth and it is Real !

The Key

You ever hear the phrase “ Talk is cheap- No it’s not-  it’s expensive.

Every time we talk about what we’re going to do, what we want to do, what we should be doing, what we wish we could be doing and never ACTUALLY do any of it, it costs us.  I could tell you what it costs us but I’m not you.  Think about what it costs you and Do It Afraid, Do it Bold, Do it in GOD’s strength not your own –  Now that’s the Key .